ThatWhichYouCovet

So I was thinking that when I start actually getting good with coloring hair and all I may well post before and after pics.

But really, though that's totally art, do I want to show my newbie skillz?  Haaaa. I think not -_-

Just a little shaken from my interview with Rehv, I decide to find someone who will be a bit safer to talk to. Probably.  I pass by a library on my way through the large island mansion and remember the angel. Surely an angel would be safe to talk to.  I go inside to find him with his lover, Tripp.  The latter man's stare is a little distracting but I manage to not shudder and keep my focus on Lass. "Care to spare a minute to answer a few questions for me?"

Lass tried to not chuckle at Kayh's reaction to Tripp. But he knew she would of been like that, and knew that she would come. "Do you wish for me to stay here, or come elsewhere with you?" Though he already knew the answer, it was polite to ask.

"Perhaps come with me just over there?" I ask, not wanting to take him too far from his lover but not really comfortable with sitting near Tripp.

"Sure," Lass said with a little chuckle, and kissed his lovers cheek, before escorting the younger human over to where she had indicated.

I get comfortable in the plush seats of the library, glad my interviewee is a gentleman this time.  "So," I say, deciding to skip the easier questions.  "How it's like being a light creature surrounded by so many vampires?"

Lass just shrugged, "those of the fallen aren't so full of light as you would think," he said with a mysterious little glint in his eye.

"But you are not currently fallen, are you?" I ask, assuming he still had his wings intact. For now.

"I can be fallen, sweetpea and have my wings." Lass said with a smirk, "you see, fallen just means shunning the Fates and their plans, being a little naughty and sharing the things I shouldn't. Being clipped, that means I've lost my wings." He winks at her, and smiles. Feeling that she was comfortable around him.

I smile, definitely feeling comfortable around Lass as opposed to Rehv.  "Does it make it easier to be around the vampires and the shadow then?"

"To be fair, I've never been bothered about being around the shadow, or vampires. I mean, my 'charge' if you would like to call her, is a vampire. And was destined to be one. Light or dark, there is always a murky grey area." Lass said with a shrug, he wanted to dodge the situation of the shadow if he could though, for he already knew of the alternate world. Of course he did. What didn't he know?

"So tell me about your relationship with the shadow?" I ask. He just had to know I was going to go there.  Surely, being a supposedly all knowing creature, he would know about the alternate world.

Lass just snorted, and shook his head. People were getting far too predictiable, only Tripp ever surprised him. Rarely, but it had been know. "We've known each other since time began, we've help one and other occasionally, and at one time I loved Saya, as wrong as it was. I know of the alternate world, and what happened there. I've no regrets of how I chose to live my life in this one," he said and gave her a pointed look, but with a friendly smile.

"So there's not chance that your illicit feelings for each other will just...pop up all the sudden here?" I ask.

Lass started laughing, "I doubt it. We're both very happy with those we are with now. I wouldn't do anything to ruin what I have with Tripp. I've never been more happy than I have with him. I'm sure 'Tobias' would say the same about Aella though, right?" He said with a smile, one thing he'd noticed about each world, in both he was happy to love the ones he did. And neither of them wanted more or less. The other Lass had gone weird, with the want of Athena, and then that she'd messed things up with Tripp for him as well. But that was okay, it had worked out just fine for the both of them.

I smile to hear him laugh. Such a pretty sound.  A bit distracting but I continue on.  "So it's not weird then to be dating your charge and ex's twin brother, who is also the ex of her current love?"

"You know, it should be," Lass agreed, because it was a rather confusing situation. "I feel we're all passed that point though, we're at that age, were we feel that love is love, and as long as everyone is happy, what's the harm? I wouldn't ever stop Kalen doing anything to help Tripp from jealousy, and neither would Kalen with me. I wouldn't say that Kalen and I are friends, but we're certainly not on bad terms, seeing as we all seem to be dating the others ex, or twin. It's just not like that," he smiled at the thought. It had worked out better than he thought it might of.

"Did you know when you were persuing Athena before that you would end up with her brother? Or was that something that just happened?"

"That was something that just happened. When I was persuing Athena, I kept her brother a secret from her, because back then I was keeping to the rules. I badly wished I hadn't though, I feel terrible that I kept them apart, now they're not at all as close as they should be." Lass said with a sigh, he did feel badly about it as well. "But, the thing with Tripp, it was purely accidental. I don't even understand how we went from talking, to me falling over, and then kissing by accident. Then that turning into intimate past times on the beach you know?" He found it rather amusing now, but at the time he'd been pretty shocked, in fairness he didn't even know he was bi.

I smile, sure that my next question is going to cross some line, but curiousity wins over some times.  "So then, which of them is the better lover?"

"Oh, you can't at all ask me that." Lass said with a chuckle, he'd not answer either, not directly. "They are both pretty awesome in their own ways," he said and stuck his tongue out at Kayh.

"I already did ask you that, actually," I say with a grin and laugh at his reaction.  "I didn't expect you to answer though.  "So back to Tripp then, why is that you don't seem to know things that are going to happen in the future when it comes to him?"

"You did! And you'd be surprised how alike the twins are, in most ways," Lass said just to be that way, and throw Kayh off slightly. "Well.....for loving him, and because I was going to tell him something, They, meaning the bitchy Fat ass Fates," he said with just a little venom, did not like them women at all, "blinded me to his future. Just so I wouldn't be tempted to save him. Still, They failed. Because no matter what They throw at him, I'll save him everytime if I have too, bitch at Him to bring my lover back to me as well."

"Was that hard for you? That he died rather than Athena that one time?" I ask.  Obviously he couldn't have expected that to happen. The Tripp in this time was not a selfless person.

"I hadn't expected it, I didn't at all think he would do it. Not because I think Tripp is a bad person, because I know he would do anything for those he loved, I just didn't realise he loved Athena already. Bad judgement on my part, I guess." Lass said and ruffled his hair for a second, and let out a long breath. "Hard, isn't really the best word to describe it. More, like....excruitating."

"So onto a happier topic then," I say, glad enough to talk about something away from death.  "Where are you going to get married? The beach you two fell in lust at?"

"We've not really decided yet, though that's not a bad idea." Lass said with a chuckle. He was pretty sure they were supposed to get married at the tavern, but he's forgotten. "We should really get a move on and plan this stuff..."

"Probably should," I agree. "Is there something distracting you that's been keeping you from getting it all together for so long?"

Lass chuckles. quietly, "Tripp is pretty distracting on his own. But we was recently at the tavern with Athena, and Kalen. So, we helped rebuild. Protect against demon attacks, slayers, and just the general Tripp and Athena trying to get along thing.....I think they're making ground with that though, thankfully."

"Has she forgiven you yet then from keeping that a secret from her?" I ask, remembering how very angry she had gotten to learn that rather shocking fact about someone she didn't much like.

"No," Lass said and smiled, but he knew she would. "Not yet, but soon I think, and she never disliked Tripp, she just...didn't know how to handle the jealousy," he said with a grin, and tapped Kayhlin on the nose for being misinformed.

"Well Nicki's got the scoop on her, not me," I say with an innocent smile.  "Does it make you nervous that the Elders are still after your fiancé?"

"Not really, I mean it's not like they can get him. If I was allowed, I would totally just.....dust them all. But, I have been told no..." Lass said and made a droopy face, for affect, but smiled shortly after. "Nah, if they come near Tripp, then I'll dust 'em."

I laugh at the thought of it.  "Is there anyone at the house you'd like to dust sometimes?  Or do you get on nicely with everyone?"

"I have no issues with any of them, surprisingly. I think they're all cool. I mean, I think the Halliways may well have issues with me, for I am an angel or something, I don't know. Rehv sometimes looks like he wants to smash my face in, but...I kinda get the impression he does with everyone?" Lass said and laughed a bit. Even in the beginning, he'd not been jealous of Kalen and Athy, oddly. He'd actually tried to help Athy talk to her love. It had helped, maybe a little bit. Other than that, he didn't think he didn't get on well with anyone.....

So now that you're fallen, do you regret it?  How did it feel before you were fallen, just playing by the rules and not able to do anything?

"Well," Lass said and shifted his weight a bit in the chair, to cross one leg over his knee, "to be honest. I hated it. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, it never really bothered me before Athy, but watching her grow up from a child, into the strong woman she is today, being beaten and raped all the time, and not doing anything? It actually killed me a bit inside. I'll never regret the day I fell. Ever."

Why is it, do you think, that more angels do not fall?  Or is not usual for your kind to get so attached to their charges?

"I don't think they do, I think many don't question His judgement, or the Fates." Lass said with a shrug, "to be fair, I feel many of them are so used to not questioning it, they never do. Or, something happens that changes their way of thinking."

"So what changed your way of thinking? Watching Athena get messed up? You can't be the only angel to see their charge hurt and react against it, as any normal person would.  So why aren't more angels doing that?"

"Not many angels fall in love with their charges," Lass pointed out with a quirky smile, though the subject was uncomfortable for him, he'd not deliberately be unkind or rude to Kayh. "Most angels don't feel anything, they watch, they help when they are allowed and that's it. It takes an exceptional person to pull on our heart strings."

I smile, knowing he doesn't much like the topic and decide to move a little away from it. "What's it like to get your wings clipped? Do you think it's been worth it all the times that you have?  Or would you change any of those times so that you'd not gotten them clipped?

Lass looked thoughtful for a moment, a small smile played upon his lips. "If you were me, and it was your beloved, would you regret it, hon?"

I answer with a laugh. "Probably not.  Speaking of your love, are you excited about the wedding?"  We'd covered it a little bit, but not as much as the fans would like, surely.

"Oh, I am. It's not something I've done before, to be honest. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if a little half angel turned up at my doorstep one day, but marriage is definitely a first, I'm not even nervous, is that strange?" Lass had the biggest grin on his face when talking of his wedding, he did love Tripp terribly.

"Well maybe the nerves will catch up with you when the day comes?" I suggest, but not really knowing about it myself, I don't comment more.  "What sort of wedding do you want?"

"Well, Tripp is a little different, so I'm guessing our wedding is going to be so as well, not that I really mind, I just want whatever he wants, what makes him happy." Lass said with a soft smile, "it's my soul purpose to make him smile. Lots."

"I'm sure, given his past, he appreciates it," I say with a smile.  "How did you feel when he first asked you to marry him as a distraction?"

"Oh, I was at first shocked, and a little pissed off for sure. It's not really something I felt was fair to use against me so his twin could turn his mother, and break more rules, to get me into trouble," Lass said with a chuckle, funny, how he could laugh now. "But, I coul tell he meant it, almost instantly. I could feel how much he did, though he'd not deliberately meant it at first. But it wasn't a lie either. Weirdly, does that make sense?"

"A bit," I reply.  "Does it ever frustrate you how both Athena and Tripp seem to have so very little disregard for the rules and aren't exactly the most predictable people in the world?"

"Nah, I like it, it keeps me on my toes." He said and laughed again, "I like things to not be boring, and for it to all be the same, I like it when they mix it up. It wasn't like it took me more than a couple of minutes to forgive them both for turning their mother, I think it helped my case slightly with Athena and not telling her about Tripp before. Though, I deserved her wrath then too."

"You did a bit," I agree with a smile.  "Do you think if you had told her before that her relationship with Tripp would be more like it is in the alternate world?"

"I feel it would of, yeah. I think that she would of had more time to adjust before meeting her brother, rather than having him thrust upon her like he was," Lass agreed, with a little sad nod. "I want them to have that relationship, they both deserve it. I should of told her before, so she could of dealt with it, and then gone to find him. At least she wouldn't of looked like a fool either, when they first met." He had to hold back a chuckle at that, least Tripp hear and tell him off for it later.

"Well at least they know about each other now, right?" I ask. "That has to be something.  Speaking of the alternate world, would you ever want to meet you other self, Tobias?"

"Yeah, I think I would," Lass said with a chuckle, "I mean, I know he's not really me anymore, but it would still be interesting right? To know how the other side lived, and all. I hear he is much like Yrael in his style of clothing, I have to see a version of me, that isn't a little punk dude."

"He is certainly more of a gentleman," I say with a chuckle, thinking of the differences in their attitudes.  "What do you think you would say to him, if you two were to meet?"

"Dude, what's up.....maybe. Or just ask him how it is, to be reincarnated, to live with Yrael, how his life is. If he's happy, that sort of stuff I guess," Lass said with a shrug, he'd not really thought about it.

"Would you want to meet any of the others? Aella?" I ask, curious to see what he thought of the reincarnation of those two lovers.

"I would yeah, I think. It'd be cool to see Saya as a girl. Permanently." Lass said with a grin, because Saya was so often a boy in this world. "See how she turned out, when she's not a sneaky kitty."

I laugh at the thought of Saya as a sneaky kitty.  "Do you think you could convince Saya to be a girl or would he be entirely opposed to it now? In alt, he seemed to enjoy being a female."

"Well, I think this one might enjoy it occasionally too, he likes to mess with people, and have power over them. But, to be fair I wouldn't try and convince him to be female, he should be who he wants to be." Lass said with a shrug, "I don't hear Louisa complaining that he's a dude. It's weird though, feeling love from the shadow when he's around her. Very weird."

"Why is that so weird? You're not used to feeling anything from him?" I ask, curious about the particular empathic power of his.

"Well, Saya doesn't really feel much about anything, I sometimes caught a little bit of worry when it came down to Ronan, but other than that, nothing really. He's much like angels, except the other side of the spectrum, I feel," Lass said thoughtfully, for it was likely true. "Like I said, it takes an exceptional person to make higher beings feel. I reckon Ronan and Louisa must really be something, they've both been through a lot too, so I guess that helps with making them who they are. But for Saya to care about either of them, it was a little shocking. If this Saya ever returned my feelings, then he hid it very well."

"Well your alternate self didn't seem to know that Saya loved him either, so perhaps he does or did hide it very well," I suggest with a smile.  But happy questions aren't as interesting.  "With so many people turning down your love, are you afraid that Tripp might do the same?"

"Not really, it was different with Athena, and Saya, the latter, as I said, I felt nothing from, with Athena, seeing as I was her first friend, and only friend for a long time, the first person to give her a flower and all of that, it was harder, because I always knew she loved me, but never in the way I wanted. It hurt more as well, to know she loved Spike once, with what he did to her, what he was going to do." Lass said with a small shrug, and rearranged himself so he was leaning forward with his arms across his leg, and looking back at Kayh. "With Tripp, I can feel how much he loves me, sometimes I just like to sit with him, close my eyes and feel it, it's very reassuring."

"Do you have any specific plans for your future with Tripp?" I ask, going back to something happier again. "Kids perhaps?"

Lass laughs a bit, "I don't see how kids would work. I mean, even if we had kids together and Athena granted us making him a woman for it, then...what would we make? It would either be a vampire, or an nephilim, because light and dark can't reside in the same body. Like we saw with Faith. You know? And, I mean we could adopt, but I've not really asked Tripp his take on kids you know." He rubbed his hand on the back of his head for a second, "I don't think him and Faith get on well either, though he was just awesome with Devyn. Who accepted it so very quickly that Tripp was his uncle."

"Well it might be something consider asking him about, hm?" I ask with a grin.  "But that's all the questions I have for you. Thank you for your time." I would hug the angel but....

"You're welcome," Lass said and upon feeling her wanting a hug, he hugged her all softly  and kissed her head.

I melt just a little bit at the affectionate angel and then take my leave so that my twin can take over before I became way too more infatuated with the angel.

I walk into the room with the very large and intimidating Rehv, feeling just a tad less brave at the sight of the giant vampire.  Being a stubborn woman, I take my seat and wait for the smaller vampire to leave.  Once I'm able to get the greeting out of my mouth and Tessa is gone, I find I don't feel any more confident. But fake it til you make it, right?

Rehv smirked slightly at the sight of the rather short human girl before him. "Hello," he said in return to her greeting, though he said nothing more or nothing less, just sat there, watching her and waiting.

I clap my hands and smile glad that we're sitting as I won't be hurting my neck having to look up at him.  "So, let's get down to business yeah?  Are you excited about the baby?"

Rehv just gave her strange look, thinking she just asked the most riduclous question ever. "Of course I am, apart from being slightly worried I might break the tiny thing."

"But you've done just fine with Ronan, have you not?" I ask, thinking how he doesn't look like the fatherly type.

"Well, to be fair, he wasn't a newborn when he came to me," Rehv said with a grunt, for it was true. Though, he had done just fine with him on his own he thought. The son was not much like his father and his womanizing ways, which was probably good. Seeing as he would be pissed if he hurt his little one.

"Right right," I say with a smile.  "Would you want another son again or a daughter this time?"

"To be fair, I don't know how I would handle a daughter." Rehv said truthfully, but he wasn't usually the talkative type. He was moody, and brooded a lot. So it would take awhile for this little human to get more out of him.

I could tell he wasn't going to open up easily but that didn't deter me from continuing.  "Is it odd at all, dating someone so much younger and shorter than yourself?"

"Not particularly," Rehv said in a little growl. Whether that was him just being protective of his little midget, or just that he felt like he was being called a pedo, who know with this one. Who knew.

I wasn't at all not intimidated by that growl so I just moved onto a different topic.  "So with so many different personalities in the house, how do you get on with everyone?"

"I don't." Rehv said with a grin that flashed a hint of his fangs. "I avoid them, and they avoid me. Except for my brother, and his children. Of course."

"Speaking of Kalen's children, tell me about your relationship with Lizzie. How did that come about?"

Rehv just gave her a look, that she may well be crossing a line there. "Ways," he said cagily, he still felt rather ashamed of that. "....some people get off on fighting, or...get horny after. What can I say? Wrong place, wrong time."

"Uh huh...Does it feel weird having her around now, married and with children?"

"It did," Rehv said truthfully. "But not so much anymore." He'd moved on, was now happy with Tessa. And glad that Lizzie was happy with Sixx, his love for the girl had changed too, in that now he cared for her as he should. As an uncle.

"And how about Kalen?" I ask as he doesn't seem too threatening this very moment.  "Is he taking it well or is your relationship strained?"

"We seem to be doing just fine right now, after the whole ordeal at the tavern, with it being blown down by a hurricane and all." Rehv said, but he still shifted on the sofa, his great weight on made it squeak, and groan in protest.

I get distracted watching this for a second.  "And how are things with your sister?  Are you comfortable with her dating someone that used to try to kidnap Ronan?"

"The shadow?" Rehv said, and thought about it. "He takes far better care for her than Dhark ever, ever did." He said in a growl, far deeper, and more menancing than the previous one.

"Speaking of your other brother, the fans are curious," I say and lean back a bit in my chair, trying not to flinch at the growls.  "Did you really kill the guy?"

"Wait," Rehv said and looked slightly confused. "Which brother are we talking about here?"

"Dhark of course, as Kalen is obviously still living," I say, looking confused as his confusion.

"Well, you forgot Phury," Rehv pointed out just to be that way. "I didn't kill him, just gave him the mark of disgrace that is known to those of us unfortunate ones to be brought up in the old, old ways."

"Ah my mistake," I reply with a sheepish smile.  "What does a mark like that do, for those of us who aren't so old and...knowledgable."

"Well, it just hurts a lot when you get it." Rehv said and shrugged, and ran a hand over his mohawk. "And those of us still in the knowledge of it, will give him shit. Or completely ignore him. He's not likely to have a friend in the world, except for the whore he ran off with. Isn't he lucky?" He said with a smirk.

"Oh he sounds like it," I say with a smile.  "So back to your girlfriend, how do you go from dating a girl like Lark to a girl like Tessa?"

Rehv almost growled again, he just hated talking about Lark. "You know, it's rather easy. Lark was high maintenance, and very 'me me me' about everything. Because my kids, and my family came first, she got pissy. Leelan she's....just so much more accepting of that, and she never demands my full attention all of the time." He just loved calling Tessa, Leelan....such a pretty term of endearment from the ways he was forced to talk and act.

"How are you going to feel after she has the baby and her schedule goes back to being crazy busy, being a music idol in your society?"

"Well, I suppose I shall just have to get used it. I shan't be letting her go straight back to work though." Rehv said, and looked pretty stubborn on the matter, "she needs to recover after having a baby."

"Do you think she's going to take that well? You telling her what to do?" I ask, knowing that Tessa was a stubborn woman.

"God, no. But we'll fight, as we do. With wit, and much love. And then I'll win," Rehv said and crossed his arms over his huge chest. "I'd win. With logic, or something."

"Logic being your strong point and all..."  I smile and continue before he growls again.  "How do you get on with her band mates?"

"I think it might piss Spin off, because I'm bigger than him, and older. He can't really 'protect' her from me, they're a good bunch of kids. I have no issues with them."

"So I think I have just one more question for you," I said, glad that the interview was coming to an end and I wasn't hurt so far.  "In an alternate world, you're gay and about to marry Tripp. What do you think of that?"

"....................f*ck off." Rehv said, and sounded like he was in utter disbelief. "For one, I'm not gay. For two, me and Tripp...don't get along. Ever."

"You get along in this world.  It's rather steamy," I say with a smirk, biting back a laugh at his reaction.

"F*ck. Off." Rehv growled, and just refused to believe. God no. Him and Tripp? No...just no.

"Would you believe me if I took pictures and brought them along on my next visit? Or would I be at risk of giving you an impossible heart attack?"

"Oh, sweet fucking scribe. Girlie. I...just...no." Rehv said, and put his hands up, and poofed away. Fuck that. To hell.

I laugh now that it's safe and I'm alone, rather glad he left first as I didn't want to turn my back on him but nor did I want to be seen fleeing the room. That done and over with, I leave the room quickly as I can to find my next victim.

My twinnie decided to interview one of my charries, and prolly one of my faves if not my faves, Zeke Canton.  Here's the interview:




As I moved along to the next room, I could feel myself get even more excited. I had love this character from the minute Lizzie had been introduced to him. How could I not? Zeke was well loved by everyone really. The exuberant gay blonde vampire had stolen my heart, along with just about every other character. But! This one I found the most fun, made me laugh or smile the most. To get to meet him, was a great honour. And would be wicked fun times!!



Nicki : -runs into the very festive looking front room, without giving Zeke any warning and just glomps him over the back of the sofa, sending them both sprawling towards the fire- Zekeeeeeeeeee! Hiiiiiiii -grins-

Zeke -squeaks and snatches hold of the carpet to keep them from going into the fire- Well aren't we just a bundle of energy today -laughs and steals the opportunity for a hug-

Nicki: -snuggles and grins- Oh yes! I was very excited to actually finally get to meet you xD

Zeke: -blinks- Why? Not that I'm not happy to meet you -smiles sweetly-

Nicki: -giggles- I'm like your biggest fan, obviously! -smirks- HUGE fan of the midnight hour.

Zeke: Oh.... -nervous smile- How lovely.... -clears throat subtly and disengages from the hug to sprawl back on the couch-

Nicki: -cracks up and sits beside him- Don't worry, I'm not that fan girlie. I actually wanted to interview, if that would be okay. If you could possible fit me into your very busy schedule -winks-

Zekes: Wellll.... -seems to think about it- I think I can make time for such a sweetie. Whatcha wanna know?

Nicki: Oh, just about everything. -looks thoughtful- Hm....start off with something small, yes? How is it, having such a big family? I wouldn't know, I just have the one brother, and we don't get on.

Zeke: Oh that's a tragedy. -thinks for a moment- I don't really know how it is compared to you I guess. I've always had a big family.

Nicki: It must be fun though, having a younger brother, and a baby sister. As well as Jordan, Lizzie and Faith. Right?

Zeke: Oh yeah, it's always fun to be around them. Never boring, that's for sure.

Lizzie: Oh, I was sure that there would be plenty of drama and mess. -grins.- Speaking of sisters though! And Lizzie directly, does it ever get weird, knowing that her twins are fathered by your husband? If I'm too nosy, just say.

Zeke: -waves dismissively- I don't mind yet. It's...Well it's a little weird. But the girls are just so adorable I can't at all mind.

Nicki: It must be pretty neat, knowing you're sort of like their second dad, I mean, you have Samira, and now two other gorgeous daughters, technically.

Zeke: Oh I just love it. Children are precious and I'm not exactly going to have my own so...I'll just go with stealing my sister's. Not like she minds -innocent smile-

Nicki: I'm sure she doesn't, -grins- I was wondering though, you know the whole thing between her and Richie, they are constantly trying to weird each other out, and I'm sure in some way she must love Richie, a mother can't just not love the father of their children you know? They help bring those precious gifts into the world after all. Does that ever make you feel weird, or anything?

Nicki: Not really. I kind of went into the relationship with Richie knowing that I was going to have to share him so....

Nicki: And it's okay to share him with your sister too? I know you two seem your share your partners, but while you're actually married to Richie? Who by way, fucking smex, well done you for stealing his heart. -chuckles- xD

Zeke: -laughs- I got lucky with that. And Richie and I...we're sorta free in our affection so no, I still don't mind. Yeah, it's a bit weird it would be my sister but she's got her husband now and it's not like Richie's going to go straight or bi on me and leave me for Lizzie

Nicki: Of course not, -grins- I doubt he would anyways. I mean, he loves you terribly. But I just had to ask, you know? They having these most adorable moments together, and sometimes you just think that theres something there even though he's gay. I don't think you or Sixx would really be all that happy about them getting into their weirding each other out and sleeping together. I get curious about the juiciest stuff in AOT"s, this story is high ranking in it. -chuckles-

Zeke: Ah well, we couldn't just live a boring life -smiles-

Nicki: Thats true, I know though that both Richie, and Lizzie love their husbands, so I doubt it would go that far. -smiles- Can I get the gossip of you and Sixx? The man that isn't gay, or bi. But most obviously is?

Zeke: -laughs- He is a contradiction. There's really not any gossip to be had about us currently though so....

Nicki: Oh well I meant before.

Zeke: -leans foward and rests his elbows on his knees, his head on his hands and smiles- What about before?

Nicki: -tries to hold back the squee- When you was the love of his life and all, that? What happened, to make you break up back then?

Zeke: It happens -shrugs and looks ever so cute-

Nicki: You're not going to tell me? -giggles at the cuteness-

Zeke: There's not much to tell -smiles-

Nicki : Fiiine, -whines just a little- what's it like to be the biggest vampire band out there?

Zeke: Oh well it's always nice to know that people like your music. Especially lots of people.

Nicki: Of course, -grins- What's it like being a brother to Jordan? He's a very solitary man, it must be hard at times to bond with him? Especially when he was a child -giggles-

Zeke: -he reaches out and taps under her chin with a smile, just so she won't whine more- Ah...Jordan as a child... -fidgets a bit- Well he's not the easiest man to get close to but I got lucky that he warmed up to me quickly enough. We don't have many issues anymore.

Nicki: -grins when he taps her chin, and resists the urge to be all swoony- Well, I am certainly glad to hear that. Jordy boy is just wonderful when he does come out to play. So, now I'm going to move on to a slightly, maybe, sensitive subject. But, we want the goss, so please! Don't be mad -looks terribly cute and snuggles into his side for cuddles-

Zeke: -laughs and squishes slightly- You don't have to fear my wrath, hun

Nicki: -giggles- But, see I know of your "other" job, which we will get to soon. But, the whole thing with Kane, was it love at first sight? Or just gradually fell for him over time after you bailed him out of trouble?

Zeke: Mmm well...I do love at first sight a lot -chuckles- I suppose it was a little of both? Maybe. I liked him at once but over time...It just got stronger.

Nicki: D'aww, and why didn't you tell him how you felt?

Zeke: Kane's more of ladies man -laughs- And you know, being in the band and all, if it went south things could get awkward...

Nicki: That is true. What was it like for you? When you had those few small hours with him as yours? Being entirely in love with you and all that?

Zeke: -wistful smile- It was nice...And not at the same time. We'd already passed our chance for that moment.

Nicki: Yeah, but it sort of gave you a feel for what could of been sort of thing?

Zeke: Yeah, a little bit I guess

Nicki: Come on, Zeke. Be honest with me now, it was good right? I mean, it probably brought all those once was feelings back, it's not like Richie minded, I mean he was obviously enjoying the sex with your sister, I mean....he must of. Now they have twins -giggles cutely-

Zeke: Oh hun, you don't have to enjoy the sex to make a baby. But...given the personalities of those two, I'm sure they did.

Nicki: Well, actually you do. If you're not enjoying the end part that makes the baby doesn't happen. -ruffles your hair- Silly, you should know that. -giggles-

Zeke: Should I? I don't make babies -laughs-

Nicki: You know basic biology though -winks- anyways, given that there is proof that Richie thouroughly enjoyed himself, you could be a bit more honest with me right? I mean, we're all friends here.

Zeke: Wellll...I suppose so... What am I being honest about again? -smiles innocently-


Nicki: The whole Kane situation, -giggles- you won't trick me into forgetting sweetheart -taps his nose-

Zeke: Ah well, I can try right? -grins and puts his hands behind his head- Be more specific though, hun. I'm blonde, after all.

Nicki: -tickles under his arms lightly- Didn't the whole Puck's ball thing, bring back those feelings for you for just a little while? Was being with him, what you thought it would be like? Don't tell me you never dreamed about it way back when, love.

Zeke: -he laughs- Yes, fine fine. They did. Quite a bit. If I wasn't married and he'd not had a girlfriend...I might have tried this time. But it's one of those things that just aren't meant to be and I don't dwell on it.

Nicki: Oh, I never thought you did. I was just wanting to know. It was important, to me, and to my twin. Do you think if you could go back in time, and try then, would you of? It must of been hard though at first, having all of those feelings resurface like that?

Zeke: It wasn't easy, no. And sissy being pregnant didn't really make it easier, I guess. I don't know that I would try again, if I had the chance though. I love Richie. I'm not sure I would give that up for something that might have been.

Nicki: Awww, I know it must of been really hard for you. Would it make you feel better to know that in an alternate universe there is an alternate you, very happy with an alternate Kane, and are due to get married soon?

Zeke: -he laughs- If my other self is happy then yes, it does. Doesn't really help me out here though, does it? -grins-

Nicki: -giggles- I just thought you might think it sweet, that somewhere a Zeke got his Kane.

Zeke: Oh I think it's adorable. -stretches for a moment and relaxes again- Any other questions?
      

Nicki: Yes, now this is rather touchy. And I'm sorry to go into it. But you totally made me cry when you did this.....that time you put the gun to your head, what was you thinking? Seriously, I can't at all understand why you would want to try and kill yourself! I was so glad that the chamber was empty. -looks all concerned-

Zeke:-he laughs- Now what's that look for? I wouldn't at all kill myself. Such a selfish thing to do, really, when my family already goes through so much drama.

Nicki: But, you thought about it. And you pulled the trigger, and cried after. So I don't understand that at all? Could you please explain?

Zeke: Well sometimes I have some weak moments where I guess...I just act out of character. It happens -shrugs-

Nicki: Well, I know you put on this big brave front that you're always happy. I mean, you have so many reasons to be happy as well. I just wanted to know what went through your head, at that exact moment, for you to do want to do that?

Zeke: I'd tell you if I knew, but I don't really remember what was going through my mind then. I don't really keep unhappy thoughts in my head for long. -shrugs-
Nicki: That's probably for the best, -squishes- what was it like, when you got to England, to find out that Lizzie had planned that wedding for you and Richie? Without either of you finding out?

Zeke:That was quite the surprise. -he brightens at the memory- I'm easy to pull things off on but not Richie. I was rather impressed with that.

Nicki: -grins- That was rather awesome of Lizzie to think of a way to keep Richie out of it, but have Spencer to know as well. Sneaky, sneaky little sister. Was it nice though? To have a proper wedding, or did you prefer the little private one you had with Richie with just the two of you?

Zeke: I liked them both, really. Not much in my life is private so doing something without anyone finding out for a bit was...It was different. But having my family there and my friends.... That was really, really nice too.

Nicki: Oh I am sure. Now! My lovely, lovely little Zeke, who I just adore terribly. I would like to talk to your husband for a bit. I shall try my very hardest to not be all touchy feely but you are married to him, so you know full well how hard that would be. -giggles

Zeke: Oh yessss -laughs and gives her a quick little kiss on the cheek- Try not to get into too much trouble now. -flits off-

Nicki: -giggles and waves- Byyeee!

So after having lots of time, since I have nothing else at the moment, to think about things, I realized that I was over stuff. Truly, completely, awesomely over stuff. I'd been going through a lot of drama on a certain website and then all the sudden this weekend I realized I just didn't care at all.  Which is a big deal for me, as normally I'm soft and I cave under pressure like that. But not this time.

This time I'm embracing the fact that I'm changing. I'm becoming stronger. And maybe I'm not the nicest, sweetest, innocent, and door step of a person as I used to be, but I don't care about that either.  I'm sticking up for myself and I'm moving on from the drama.

I don't want. And I won't have it.

And I know people won't like the change or won't like the decisions that I'm making. But that's just tough too. I like them. And the people that matter in my life like them too. And they're the ones I care about, the opinions I want and listen too.

I found this and I thought, it's so true: The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs.